by Jill

I work in tech support, as I have for almost four years. I speak American Broadcast English and I am generally a pleasant person to talk to. So why do ninety percent of the people that call me every day insist on being abusive? I didn't do anything to them; in fact I'm trying to help them, and I am more than qualified to do so, though I didn't make the product they berate so passionately. I, again a generally pleasant person to speak to, had no idea how mean so many of my customers could be.

Even though my co-workers and I laugh about it, nasty customers get to all of us eventually. Shortly after I started in tech support I had a caller say, "I had thought you would have done this before" even though I had ample experience to solve her problem. A friend of mine had someone literally scream into the phone "I'm going to need to see more effort from you." Add to that about a thousand hang-ups and a sprinkling of "WTF's" and it begins to wear on you. We try to laugh it off. We say very rude things about our customers behind their backs, but I see the stress in all of us. Constantly being told you suck can eventually make you believe it's true. I don't think customers would treat support people like this if we they had to meet us face to face.

I waited tables for several years, starting when I was a senior in high school and all through college. I had my share of rude customers. It didn't seem to matter whether it was an upscale restaurant or a pizza place, there was one nasty customer in every crowd. However, I never had the constant stream of horrible customers that I do now. I think people will say things over the phone or in an email that they would never dream of saying in a face to face environment. It's as though they don't realize that a real person is on the other line. We have thoughts and feelings and an agenda of our own.

Most customers don't seem to understand we are trying to help. I try to help not just because it's my job, but because I take joy in solving complex issues. I know most of my co-workers feel the same way, that's why we got into tech support instead of the more lucrative and prestigious career of a cell phone salesman. We are trying to help you. We are well educated and very capable of doing so.

On top of our college degrees, training, and experience, most of us run websites or do networking or programming on the side. This is important to you because it shows the depth of knowledge that tech support workers possess. Compared to the tasks we consider hobbies, most of the problems people call in with are relatively simple. The problem becomes complex when our customers explain how knowledgeable they are and then give incomplete information. This does not help. Nor does it help when callers get angry when we ask if they are sure their computer is plugged in. Don't get offended, it has happened before and will again.

So, what is the correct way to interact with tech support personnel? How can we solve the problem quickly, and in a way that does not require anyone to cry themselves to sleep? I've assembled a few guidelines to help you out. Keep these things in mind the next time you call us:

1. The voice on the phone is an actual person. They have a family, a mortgage, pets, a bad knee, etc; they have feelings and Jesus is watching.
2. That person is trying to help you. You may not always make this easy or pleasant, but they want to solve your problem, if for no other reason than to make you go away.
3. If you are rude, nasty, or abusive, they may try to screw with you. Just like the people at the restaurant may spit in your food, the tech support people may give you false answers, make up technobable (oh, no, you have NHLM in your tertiary processor's subroutine backup sequence), or, in extreme cases, mail you a virus.
4. They know more than you. I know you would like to think you are a computer genius because you know how to use Microsoft Word, but seriously, these people are trained professionals. So, unless you work in IT yourself, you probably can't hold a candle to their knowledge and experience.
5. The person on the phone is usually not the person who made the product. We didn't design it, we didn't build it, we didn't program it, and we didn't sell it; we just have to clean up after the people who did. Don't take your frustrations out on us, we will help as best we can, but if it's that bad, maybe next time you should read the consumer reports before you buy the wrong product.
6. Keep in mind that while you may be intelligent, most of the people call are really, really, dumb. Don't get upset or offended when we walk you through the process of using your mouse. Some people need it.
7. Please, have all of the information you may need in front of you. Usernames, passwords, error codes, often we can't do anything without them, and that makes you curse in our ears.
8. Remember how I said there is one in every crowd? This goes for tech support and corporations too. If you feel, after following the above guidelines and making an honest effort to talk to the person, that they are not being helpful, politely ask to speak to someone else. If they are not helpful either, politely ask to speak to a manager. If it seems the whole company is rude, change companies.

By the way, this list applies any time you interact with someone who's trying to help you. From fast food to auto repair. Be nice to the people who serve you, you can never tell when one is ready to snap.